


Bereavement

by falderal



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Gen, Loki Needs a Hug, Loki being Loki, Not Beta Read, Spoilers, Thor - Freeform, Thor: The Dark World, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-09
Updated: 2013-11-09
Packaged: 2017-12-31 22:57:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 630
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1037375
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/falderal/pseuds/falderal
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“You don't know who is important to you until you actually lose them.”<br/>― Mahatma Gandhi</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bereavement

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: Major spoiler for Thor 2!

Loki raged. 

After his initial outburst, he’d set up a simple but strong glamour to protect his privacy while he railed and screamed, smashed and cursed, taking his frustration out on the sparse furniture and the room’s solid walls. At some point, the rage had become a fierce weeping. Tears he hadn’t thought he’d still had the capacity for left icy trails down his flushed cheeks until he could turn his grief to anger once more. Finally, breathless and vaguely nauseated, he descended into the false-calm of exhaustion. Slumping to the floor of his cell, his back against the wall, Loki dispassionately observed the destruction around him. It left him with a hollow dissatisfaction that gnawed at his belly like poison. 

The last thing he had said to Frigga had been needlessly hateful. A way to assuage his wounded pride and sense-of-self, to repay her some small measure of the hurt she had given him in lying to him his entire life. But it had hurt him to say it, and he had hesitated even then. Oh, it was so easy to throw the true nature of his birth into Odin’s face; so satisfying to twist that knife into Thor. It made them have to recognize him as a worthy opponent, the Frost Giant, Loki of Jotunheim. Thor had been his brother, and was no longer. Odin had been his King, never his father, no matter how much Loki had wished it to be so, once upon a time. But Frigga - to deny her as his mother had been a lie. And now his greatest advocate, the one person he could say he still truly loved, had perished protecting her kingdom, the Nine Realms, and Thor’s human whore. 

One hand stroked absently over the tapestry bound cover of a book. Her book. Loki would never see her again, not in this life, and likely not in the one after it. Frigga had died in honorable combat; her fate was the golden halls of Valhalla, a place Loki knew he would never see. He'd not gotten to say goodbye. Regret choked him, leaving him gasping and doubled over in a paroxysm of emotion. Rarely did Loki allow himself to feel guilt, because when he did it was overwhelming, crushing like a tidal wave and threatening to sweep him under and drown him. Loki willed such sentiment away, reaching deeper into himself, down past the pain and into the scarred and festering place where his broken heart lay dead, cold and distant, seeking the numbness that came with simply not caring. 

He didn’t know how long he sat there, the cool floor under him, the charred and broken remains of his cell scattered like the bones of his enemies. Distantly he became aware of footsteps on the stairs, a familiar heavy tread muffled by soft-soled boots. Thor. Loki sighed, strengthened the glamor he’d left up and willed his formerly inactive doppelganger into motion. His double was clean and well-dressed in a casual tunic and leather gambeson, and carrying a bit more flesh than he currently possessed. He wanted to project an image of casual confidence, power barely contained, a caged tiger waiting for his chance to strike.

Loki was almost surprised when Thor called him on his illusion. The thunderer was finally starting to pay attention it seemed. He let the glamour fall, revealing the aftermath of his grief and giving his not-brother what he hoped was a bitter taste of Loki’s reality.

Then Thor made his offer and Loki new that his opportunity to pounce had indeed come. He would avenge his mother, conquer Asgard, and finally gather enough power to protect himself from Thanos’ inevitable wrath.  


Loki felt a smirk tease the corners of his mouth, “When do we start?”


End file.
